The times they are a-changin’ and our social compact is evolving rapidly. Women are achieving higher status in the workplace and the world and men are treating women more like the competition then someone they want to have a love match with. Manners, politeness and gallantry are falling by the wayside. So I, like all other women, am asking myself, when it comes to men or women dating, is chivalry dead?
I know it’s not 1920, but I’ve got to say, it’s nice when a man or women opens the door, pulls up a chair, or lends you a jacket when you are cold. Sure, paying for dinner or picking you up at your doorstep can be chivalrous but sometimes the little things count more, especially in this modern era where most women are independent and can buy their own dinner or drive themselves.
I’m not saying that all men or women aren’t chivalrous, but etiquette and good form are becoming increasingly rare traits in this younger generation. Personally, I feel a chivalrous person sets that tone with courtesy and respect for a date or encounter. Something about chivalry makes a person so appealing, so sexy. You know immediately that their mom taught them well and this person is kind hearted and caring. My experience when dating men is that about a quarter of them are chivalrous. I haven’t dated women yet, but I have been lent a jacket or two.
Now, because I know what I know, I have zero expectations. If it happens, it happens. Due to their behavioral changes, my behaviors and habits have now changed. When I do meet a man for a date or a meeting, I prefer to pay my way and open my own doors. Not that I mind, I just hate to have expectations and set myself up for disappointment. I believe doing this also displays power, independence, and respect, partially because most men believe they must pay for dinner. Why do men think that? Because I’m a woman? It’s a manly thing to do? What if I take that power away from them, does that make them less of a man?
Based on my observations, unless the man fights me on the bill or is persistent, the man seems to be intimidated or they just lose interest. Sometimes this display of female independence reverses the power roles of sex. The display of submission produces better outcomes when I compare my current experiences with my past ones, so that said, should I revert back to my old ways? Am I just jaded? Send your thoughts and suggestions to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.