Spring is in the air and love is all around. I see many friends beginning to couple up and embark on brand new trysts they hope will turn into that one meaningful relationship. Those already in relationships are broadening their horizons and attempting to spice things up. Relationships, whether new or long term, grow, expand and change. A group of my gal pals from both ends of the spectrum got together recently and the subject of open relationships came up. I was asked if I thought that was a good path to explore.
I have noticed open relationships have been all the rage these days. The ability to commit without the added stress of monogamy has become increasingly common over the years. They are popular amongst both young and old and especially prominent in married couples. Sounds like everything one can ask for! You have someone stable by your side and at the same time you have the freedom to do as you please and have sex with those you have a fleeting, physical fixation with. But what part does love play in an open relationship, how long can an open relationship last, and what are the values and morals of an open relationship?
I believe love has no boundaries or restriction to one person as long as it comes from good intent. The longevity of an open relationship is based on a foundation of understanding and communication between one another and what is considered acceptable for those two individuals. Yes, open relationships defy age old relationship standards, but I believe it is one of the possible solutions to achieve a successful relationship when we consider the fact that Americans have a 50% divorce rate and many of those marriages end over a wandering eye not because the core of the union was not rooted in love.
People are impulsive and can sometimes commit too soon and lose themselves in the moment. We Americans tend to live our lives as part of a machine. Birth. School. Work. Death. We leave for college right after high school. We educate ourselves and graduate to get a great job. We find a job to make money so we can find a mate. When we get married we need money to pay for our bills, kids, and family and then we grow old, retire, and ultimately die. With such a life how can anyone find time for true happiness and sexual fulfillment within this standard?
In my personal life, I do prefer open relationships first before I choose to become monogamous. I like to have all of my options available in front of me. Settling for anything less than that does not sit well with me. I believe everyone is deserving of what they desire and what suits them best. Open relationships give me a chance to get to know the person without having to over commit and possibly lose time from dedicating too much to one man in a situation that may not work out. It is the best way for me to remain genuine and makes me look forward to seeing that special someone I don’t get to spend time with as often as I would like to. I don’t want to give, show, or tell everything about myself so soon. I like to leave a bit of mystery in the air and keep the spontaneity alive.